ಚಂಡಿ - Storm by Tim Minchin

This is a vague translation attempt of Tim Minchin's famous performance, STORM into Kannada with few alterations to suit the language keeping the original theme intact.  

The original video on YouTube can be seen here: 

The live performance video can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIWj3tI-DXg

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ಚಂಡಿ 

ಇದೊಂದು ನವ ನಿಮಿಷಗಳ ನವರಸ ಕಥನ ಕಾವ್ಯ

ಉತ್ತರ ಲಂಡನ್ ನ ಉತ್ತುಂಗ ಫ್ಲಾಟ್ ಒಂದರಲಿ

ಬಿಳಿ ನೆಲ, ಬಿಳಿ ಬೆಕ್ಕು, ಬಿಳಿ ಗೋಡೆಯ ಮಧ್ಯದಲ್ಲಿ 

ತೆಳು ಹಲಗೆಯ ಬಹುರೂಪಿ ರಚನೆಗಳು, 

ಮಹತ್ವಾಕಾಂಕ್ಷೆಯ ಮಾಡರ್ನ್ ಆರ್ಟ್ ಚಿತ್ರಗಳು!

ವೈದ್ಯರೋರ್ವರು ಸಮ್ಮೇಳನದ ಆಯೋಜಕರು 

ಅರಿವುಳ್ಳವರು, ತಮ್ಮದೇ ಕ್ಲಿನಿಕ್ ಕೂಡಾ ಹೊಂದಿಹರು. 

ಗೆಳತಿಯೋ ಖ್ಯಾತ ನಟಿ, ಅವರೂ ಜೊತೆಗಿಹರು. 

ನಮ್ಮೂರ ಪರಿಚಯ, ಊಟಕ್ಕೆ ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರನ್ನೂ ಕರೆದಿಹರು. 

೫ನೆಯ ಅಥಿತಿಯು ಯಾರೋ ಅಪರಿಚಿತೆ 

ಜೊತೆ ನಿಂತಿರುವಳು ಆಗಲೆಂದು ಪರಿಚಿತೆ 

ಇತ್ತೀಚೆಗಷ್ಟೇ ಆಸ್ಟ್ರೇಲಿಯಾ ದಿಂದ ಲಂಡನ್ ಗೆ ಬಂದಿರುವಳಂತೆ 

ಯಾರದೋ ತಂಗಿಯೋ, ಅಕ್ಕನೋ, ಹಾಗೇನೋ ಸಂಬಂಧವಂತೆ

ಪರಿಚಯದ ಮಾತು ಸುಮ್ಮನೇ ನಡೆದಿತ್ತು 

ಅವಳ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯವೋ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೇ ನಾಟಿತ್ತು 

ಹೊಳೆವ ಕಪ್ಪು ಕೂದಲೂ, ಕಡುಗಪ್ಪು ಕಣ್ಣಿತ್ತು

ಅಪ್ರತಿಹಿತ ಬಣ್ಣಗಳು ಕಣ್ಮುಂದೆ ಕಂಡಿತ್ತು 

ಆದರೇಕೋ ಕುಳಿತಿರೆ ಅವಳು ನಮ್ಮ ಮುಂದೆ 

ಎಚ್ಚರಿಕೆಯ ಕರೆಗಂಟೆಯೊಂದು ಬಾರಿಸಿದಂತಿತ್ತು ಹಿಂದೆ 

ಗಮನಿಸಿದೆ ಕಾಲ್ಪನಿಕ ಯಕ್ಷಿಯೊಂದರ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಯ ತುದಿ 

ಹಚ್ಚೆಯಾಗಿ ಬೆನ್ನಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಪಕ್ಕೆಲುಬಿನ ಬದಿ 

''ನನ್ನದು ಧನು ರಾಶಿ!'' ಎಂದೊಡನವಳು ನಮ್ಮತ್ತ ನೋಡಿ,

ಭ್ರಮಾಜೀವಿ ಇವಳೇನೋ ಎಂಬ ಶಂಕೆ, ಕುಂದಿತ್ತು ಮೋಡಿ

ಪರಿಚಯಕೆ ಇರಲೆಂದು ಕೇಳಿದೆವು ''ಏನು ನಿನ್ನಯ ಹೆಸರು?''

ಅದೇನೋ ಅಂದಳು ಅಸ್ಪಷ್ಟ - ಚಂಡಿ? - ಚಂಡಮಾರುತದ ಉಸಿರು!

ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆಯು ಮೊದಲಾಗಿತ್ತು ಹೀಗೆಯೇ ಹಾಸ್ಯಮಯ ಲೋಕಾಭಿರಾಮ 

ಸಂಭ್ರಮದ ಮಾತುಗಳೂ ನಂತರ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ವಿರಾಮ 

ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ದುಬಾರಿ ವೈನ್ ಅನ್ನು ಹೀರಿ 

ಯಾವುದೋ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ ವ್ಯಾಖ್ಯೆಯ ಮೇಲೇರಿ 

''ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ನಾವರಿಯುವುದಸಾಧ್ಯ, ಜ್ಞಾನವು ಕೇವಲ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ, ಅವ್ಯಕ್ತ''

ಎಂದಾಕೆಯ ಧೃಡ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯ ವ್ಯಕ್ತ 

''ಸಮ್ಮೇಳನದ ಶುಭಾರಂಭವಂತೂ ಅಲ್ಲ'' ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡೆ ಮೆಲ್ಲ 

ಇನ್ನೂ ಊಟವೇ ಆಗಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ, ಅನಗತ್ಯ ವಾದ ವಿವಾದಗಳು ಸಲ್ಲ 

ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಸುಮ್ಮನೇ ಅವಲೋಕಿಸುತಲಿದ್ದ ಮಡದಿ 

ಸುಮ್ಮನಿರೆಂದು ಕಣ್ಸನ್ನೆ ಮಾಡಿದಳು ದೂರದಿ

ಕೇಳಬೇಕೆಂದುಕೊಂಡೆ, ''ಎಲೈ ಚಂಡಿ, ಜ್ಞಾನ ಬಾರಿಯ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯವೆಂದಾದರೆ 

ಎರಡಂತಸ್ತಿನ ಮನೆಯ ಬಾಗಿಲಿನ ಬದಲು ಕಿಟಕಿಯಿಂದ ಹೊರಹೋಗುವೆಯಾ ಹಾಗಾದರೆ?'' 

ಸುಮ್ಮನಿರುವುದು ಕಷ್ಟವಾದರೂ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಕುಳಿತೆ 

ಮಡದಿಯ ಎಚ್ಚರಿಕೆಯ ನಿರ್ಲಕ್ಷಿಸದಿರುವುದು ಒಳಿತೇ 

ಊಟ ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಶುರುವಾಗಿತ್ತು 

ಮೃಷ್ಟಾನ್ನ ಭೋಜನ ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಹಿಡಿಸಿತ್ತು 

ಜೊತೆ ಕುಳಿತಿದ್ದ ಚಂಡಿ ಜಗಿಯುತಿರೆ ಸಾಂಬಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ನುಗ್ಗೆ, 

ಬಳಿಯಿದ್ದ ವೈದ್ಯರು ವಿವರಿಸುತಿರೆ ವೈದ್ಯಕೀಯ ಇತಿಹಾಸದ ತುಣುಕೊಂದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ,

''ಮಾನವ ದೇಹವೆಂಬುದೊಂದು ರಹಸ್ಯವಷ್ಟೇ ಬರೀ 

ಆತ್ಮದ ವಿಚಾರಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದರೆ ವಿಜ್ಞಾನ ನಿಷ್ಪ್ರಯೋಜಕವೇ ಸರಿ 

ವಿಜ್ಞಾನ ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗುವುದು ತಳವಿಲ್ಲದ ಬಾವಿಯಲಿ''

ಎಂದೊಮ್ಮೆಲೇ ಅರಚಿದಳು ಚಂಡಿ ಮಧ್ಯದಲಿ! 

ಸಭಾಂಗಣದ ಪರಿಚಿತ ಸಿಬ್ಬಂದಿಯೊಬ್ಬಳು ದೂರದಲಿ ನೋಡುತಿದ್ದಳು 

ನನ್ನ ವಿರಳ, ಮೋಜುಭರಿತ ಭಾಷಣವೊಂದರ ಆರಂಭದ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಯಲಿದ್ದಳು. 

ಆದರೆ ನನ್ನ ತುಟಿಗಳು ಹೊಲಿಯಲ್ಪಟ್ಟಿವೆ, ಮಡದಿಯ ಆದೇಶದಂತೆ 

ಊಟದ ಸವಿಯನಷ್ಟೇ ಆಸ್ವಾದಿಸಬಯಸುವೆನೀಗ, ಕಿವುಡನಂತೆ. 

ಕೆರಳಿಸುವ, ದೋಣಿಯನುರುಳಿಸುವ ಸರ್ವಪ್ರಯತ್ನವೂ ಚಂಡಿಯದು 

ಕಷ್ಟವಾದರೂ ಮೌನವಾಗಿರುವೆ, ದಡಸೇರುವ ಗುರಿಯಷ್ಟೇ ನನ್ನದು

ನನಗಿರುವ ಕಾಳಜಿಯೇನೂ ಚಂಡಿಗಿರುವಂತಿಲ್ಲ 

ದೋಣಿಯುರುಳುವ ಪರಿವೆಯೂ ಇದ್ದಂತಿಲ್ಲ

''ಔಷಧ ಕಂಪೆನಿಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ನಮ್ಮ ವೈರಿಗಳು 

ಔಷಧಾವಲಂಬನೆಯನುತ್ತೇಜಿಸುವ ಮಾರಿಗಳು 

ನೈಸರ್ಗಿಕ ಪರಿಹಾರಗಳಷ್ಟೇ ದೇಹಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಕು 

ಈ ಔಷಧಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ ಏತಕ್ಕೆ ಬೇಕು? 

ಗಿಡಮೂಲಿಕೆಗಳೇ ಪರಿಹಾರ ಎಲ್ಲದಕು 

'ರಾಸಾಯನಿಕಗಳು' ಬೇಡವೇ ಬೇಡ ಯಾವುದಕೂ 

ಹೋಮಿಯೋಪತಿ ಸರಿಮಾಡದ ಸಮಸ್ಯೆ ಏನಿದೆ?

ನೈಸರ್ಗಿಕ ಪರ್ಯಾಯ ವೈದ್ಯಕೀಯ ವ್ಯವಸ್ಥೆಗೆ ನಾವು ಮರಳಬೇಕಿದೆ!'' 

ಮತ್ತೆ ನುಡಿದಳು ಚಂಡಿ ಹೀಗೆಂದು. 

ನಾನೀಗರಿಯೆ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿರುವುದು ಹೇಗೆಂದು! 

ಮನದ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ತಡೆಗೋಡೆಯಲಿಂದು

ಕಾಣಿಸಿದೆ ಸಣ್ಣ ಬಿರುಕಿನ ಕುರುಹೊಂದು 

''ಇಂತಿಷ್ಟು ಸುಮ್ಮನೇ ಬುದ್ಧಿಜೀವಿಯಂತೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಿರುವೆ ನೀನು

'ಪರ್ಯಾಯ ಔಷಧ'? ಅದರರ್ಥ ಗೊತ್ತೇನು?'' ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸಿದೆ ನಾನು

''ಯಾವ ಔಷಧಕೆ ಇಹುದೋ ಪುರಾವೆ  ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದು,

ಯಾವ ಔಷಧಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ಪುರಾವೆ  ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವುದೆಂದು 

ಅದೇ ಕರೆಯಲ್ಪದುವು 'ಪರ್ಯಾಯ ಔಷಧ'ವೆಂದು''. 

''ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವುದೆಂದು ಪುರಾವೆ ಇರುವ 'ಪರ್ಯಾಯ ಔಷಧ'ಕ್ಕೇನೆನ್ನುತ್ತಾರೆಂದು ಗೊತ್ತೇನು ನಿನಗೆ?''

''ಔಷಧ!'' 

ಹ್ಹ! ಉಸಿರುಗಟ್ಟಿಹೋಗಿತ್ತು ಎನಗೆ 

ಅಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೇ ಸುಮ್ಮನಾಗುವಳಲ್ಲ ಚಂಡಿ 

ತೋಡುತಿದ್ದಳು ಇನ್ನೂ ಆಳದ ಗುಂಡಿ. 

''ನೈಸರ್ಗಿಕ ಪರಿಹಾರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನಂಬಿಕೆಯೇ ಇಲ್ಲವೇ ನಿನಗೆ ಹಾಗಾದರೆ?'' ಮುಂದಿನ ವಾದದ ಮುನ್ನುಡಿಗೆ,

ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಯೊಂದು ನುಗ್ಗಿತ್ತು ನನ್ನೆಡೆಗೆ. 

ಚಂಡೀ ಕೇಳು, 

''ಚಹಾಗೆ ಬರುವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಮುಂಚೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ 

ಸೇವಿಸಿದ್ದೆ ನೈಸರ್ಗಿಕ ಔಷಧವೊಂದ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ 

ಉತ್ಪಾದಿಸಿಹರು ಈ ಮಾತ್ರೆಯ ಉಪಯೋಗಿಸಿ ವಿಲ್ಲೋ ಮರ 

ಕನಿಷ್ಠ ಅಡ್ಡ ಪರಿಣಾಮಗಳ, ಬಹುಪಯೋಗಿ ವರ

ಪ್ರಿಯತಮೆ, ಏನದರ ಹೆಸರು? ಹಾ.. ಮಾಸ್ಪಿರಿನ್ 

ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲ..... ಬಾಸ್ಪಿರಿನ್ 

ಒಹ್ ಈಗ ಹೊಳೆಯಿತು, ಔಷಧದಂಗಡಿಯಲಿ ೧ ರುಪಾಯಿಗೆ ಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದು  - ಆಸ್ಪಿರಿನ್!''

ವಾದವು ಸಂಕ್ಷಿಪ್ತವಾಗಿ ತಗ್ಗಿದಂತಿತ್ತು 

ಅರಿವು ಮೂಡಿತೇನೋ ಎಂದೊಮ್ಮೆ ಅನಿಸಿತ್ತು 

ಊಟದ ತಟ್ಟೆಗಳನ್ನು ಹಿಂದಿರುಗಿಸಿ ಸಿಹಿತಿಂಡಿಯು ಬರಲೆಂದೆಲ್ಲರ ಅನುಮೋದನೆ. 

ಅಷ್ಟರಲೇ ಶುರು ಚಂಡಿಯ ಮುಂದಿನ ಪ್ರತಿಪಾದನೆ. 

''ಷೇಕ್ಸ್ಪಿಯರ್ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದನೆಂದೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ..'' ಮುಂದುವರಿದವು ಮತ್ತೆ ಚಂಡಿಯ ಮಾತುಗಳು 

''ನಿನ್ನ ತತ್ವಶಾಸ್ತ್ರಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಮಿಗಿಲಾದುದಿದೆ ಭುವಿಯಲೂ, ಸ್ವರ್ಗದಲೂ

ವಾಸ್ತವವ ನೋಡುವ ಒಂದು ಪರಿಯಷ್ಟೇ ವಿಜ್ಞಾನದಿಂದ ಸಾಧ್ಯ 

ಪ್ರೀತಿಯನು, ಅಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮವನು ವಿವರಿಸಲು ವಿಜ್ಞಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ

ಅತೀಂದ್ರಿಯ ಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿಜ್ಞಾನಕ್ಕೇನು ಗೊತ್ತು?!

ಪುನರ್ಜನ್ಮ, ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥನೆಗಳನ್ನು ವಿವರಿಸಬಲ್ಲುದೆ ಈ ಹೊತ್ತು?''  

ಹಠಾತ್, ನಾನೇಕೋ ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿ ಕಣ್ಣು ಮಿಟಿಕಿಸದೆ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆಂದೆನಿಸಿತ್ತು 

ಮಧ್ಯರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣುಕೊರೆಯುವ ಹೆಡ್ ಲೈಟ್ ನಲಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ ಮೊಲದಂತನಿಸಿತ್ತು 

ಹ್ಯಾಮ್ಲೆಟ್ ನ ತಪ್ಪಾದ ಉಲ್ಲೇಖ ಮಾಡಿಹಳೆಂಬ ಸಂಶಯವೂ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು 

ಅಥವಾ ೮ನೇ ವೈನ್ ಗ್ಲಾಸ್ ನ ಪ್ರಭಾವವೋ ತಿಳಿಯದಾಗಿತ್ತು 

ನನ್ನ ಶಾಂತಿಯ ಗೋಡೆಯೋ ಈಗ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಒಡೆದಿತ್ತು 

ಎಳೆದು ಕಟ್ಟಿರುವ ಅಶ್ವವನು ಒಮ್ಮೆಲೇ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಗೊಳಿಸಿದಂತಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಾನಂದೆ, 

''ನೋಡು ಚಂಡಿ, ನಿನಗೆ ಬೋರು ಹೊಡೆಸುವ ಯಾವ ಉದ್ದೇಶವೂ ನನಗಿಲ್ಲ 

ಆದರೆ ಕೇಳು, ಅತೀಂದ್ರಿಯ ಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳೆಂದು ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ. 

ಭವಿಷ್ಯ ನುಡಿಯುವವರೂ, ಕೈ ಓದುವವರೂ, ಯಾವ ವಿಶೇಷ ಇಂದ್ರಿಯಗಳನೂ ಹೊಂದಿಲ್ಲ 

ದೇವರ ಕರೆಯ ಕೇಳಬಲ್ಲೆನೆಂಬವನೂ ಅಷ್ಟೇ ಬಹು ದೊಡ್ಡ ಸುಳ್ಳ 

ಆಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮದಿಂದ ರೋಗ ನಿವಾರಣೆ ಮಾಡುವೆನೆಂಬವನು ಬಹು ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕಳ್ಳ''

''ಅಂದ ಹಾಗೆ, 

ಸತ್ತವರ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಬಲ್ಲೆವೆಂದು ನಂಬಿಸುತ್ತಾರಲ್ಲಾ

ಮಗುವ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಅಳುತಿರುವ ತಾಯಿಯೊಡನೆ ಸುಳ್ಳಾಡುತ್ತಾರಲ್ಲಾ 

ಆ ಬದಿಯ ಪ್ರಪಂಚದ ಅರಿವು ನಮಗಿದೆಯೆಂದು ಹುಸಿನುಡಿಯುತ್ತಾರಲ್ಲಾ

ನಂಬುವೆಯಲ್ಲಾ ಈ ಮೂರ್ಖತನದ ಪರಮಾವಧಿಗಳನೆಲ್ಲಾ!''

'' ನೀನೇನು ಡಿಂಗ ನಿಜವಾಗಲೂ ಇರುವನೆಂದು ನಂಬುವೆಯಾ? 

ಸಾಂತಾ ನಿಜವಾಗಲೂ ಉಡುಗೊರೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಬರುವನೆಂದುಕೊಂಡಿರುವೆಯಾ? 

ಮೈಕಲ್ ಜ್ಯಾಕ್ಸನ್ ನನಿಗೆ ಮುಖದ ಶಸ್ತ್ರಕ್ರಿಯೇ ನಡೆದಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದು ಪ್ರತಿಪಾದಿಸುವೆಯಾ? 

ಸರ್ಕಸ್ ಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ತೋರಿಸುವ ಜಾದೂ ಕೂಡಾ ನಿಜವೆಂದು ಹೌಹಾರುವೆಯಾ?

ಸತ್ತವರೊಂದಿಗೆ ಮಾತನಾಡಬಲ್ಲೆವೆಂಬವರ ಮೂರ್ಖ ಮಾತುಗಳಿಗೆ ಬಲಿಯಾಗುವೆಯಾ?''

ಇಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ಅಪಹಾಸ್ಯಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾದರೂ ಚಂಡಿ ಛಲಬಿಡುವಂತಿಲ್ಲ 

ಬಂದೂಕಿನಿಂದ ಬರುವ ಗುಂಡುಗಳಂತಿರುವ ಕ್ಲೀಷೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಕೊನೆಯಿಲ್ಲ 

''ಅಷ್ಟೊಂದು ಅಚಲವಾಗಿಹುದು ನಿನ್ನ ನಿಲುವು, ಖಚಿತ 

ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಮನ ನಿನ್ನದು, ಸಂಕುಚಿತ 

ವಿಜ್ಞಾನದಲಿರುವ ನಿನ್ನ ನಂಬಿಕೆಯು ಕುರುಡು 

ಮೂಲಭೂತವಾದಿಗಳ ನಂಬಿಕೆಯಂತೆಯೇ ಬರಡು'' 

ಘೋಷಿಸಿದಳು ಹಾಗೆಂದು ಚಂಡಿ ಕಿರುಚಿ 

ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆಲ್ಲವನೂ ಮನಬಂದಂತೆ ತಿರುಚಿ 

''ಹಾ...! ಅದೇನೋ ಸರಿಯಾದ ಅಂಶವೇ...ಯೋಚಿಸುವೆ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಹೊತ್ತು 

ಚಂಡಿಯ ತರ್ಕವೂ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿರಬಹುದೇನೋ ಯಾರಿಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು!''

.

.

ಒಹ್ ನಿಲ್ಲು ನಿಲ್ಲು...ಚಂಡೀ, ನೀ ನುಡಿದೆಯಲ್ಲಾ... 

ನೂರಕ್ಕೆ ನೂರು ಶುದ್ಧ ಅಸಂಬದ್ಧ ಅದೆಲ್ಲಾ 

''ವಿಜ್ಞಾನವು ಪುರಾವೆಗಳ ಆಧಾರದಂತೆ, ತನ್ನ ನಂಬಿಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ಆಗ್ಗಾಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾರ್ಪಾಡುಗೊಳಿಸುತ್ತದೆ 

ಮೂಢನಂಬಿಕೆಯು ಪುರಾವೆಗಳನ್ನು ಕಡೆಗಣಿಸಿ ಸ್ಥಿರನಂಬಿಕೆಯನ್ನಷ್ಟೇ ಸಂರಕ್ಷಿಸಬಯಸುತ್ತದೆ''.

''ಹೋಮಿಯೋಪತಿಯು ವೈಜ್ಞಾನಿಕವೆಂದು ಪುರಾವೆಯೊಂದಗಿಸಿದಂದು ನೀನು 

ನನ್ನ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣವಾಗಿ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸುವೆನದರಂತೆ ನಾನು

ನಾ ಮುಜುಗರಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾಗುವುದಂತೂ ನಿಜವೇ ಹಾಗೇನಾದರೂ ಆದರೆಂದೂ 

ಆದರೂ ರಸ್ತೆಯುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಘೋಷಿಸುವೆ ಇದೊಂದು ಚಮತ್ಕಾರವೆಂದು 

ಭೌತಶಾಸ್ತ್ರವೇ ಸುಳ್ಳು, ನೀರಿಗೆ ಜ್ಞಾಪಕ ಶಕ್ತಿ ಇಹುದೆಂದು. 

ಕಿತ್ತಳೆಯ ರಸದ ನೆನಪು ನೀರಿನಲಿ ಅನಂತ, ನಿರ್ಮಲ. 

ಅದ್ಹೇಗೋ, ಚಮತ್ಕಾರದಂತೆ ನೀರು ಮರೆತು ಬಿಡುವುದು ಮಲ!'' 

''ಅದು ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವ ರೀತಿಯನೊಮ್ಮೆ ವಿವರಿಸು ಪುರಾವೆ ಸಹಿತ

ಆಘಾತದಿಂದ ಚೇತರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡೊಡನೆ ಹಚ್ಚೆಯೊತ್ತಿಸುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ ತಲೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಪುರಾವೆ ಸಹಿತ''

ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿ ನನ್ನನ್ನೇ ಈಗ ನೋಡುವರೇ ಎಲ್ಲಾ

ಇನ್ನಂತೂ ಮಾತು ಮುಗಿಸುವುದೇ ಎಲ್ಲಾ 

''ಜೀವನ ರಹಸ್ಯಗಳ ಬೀಡು ಸತ್ಯ  

ಆದರೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಉತ್ತರಗಳಿರುವುದೂ ಸತ್ಯ 

ಗಂಭೀರ ಮುಖವಿರಿಸಿ ನಟಿಸುವರ ಮನದಿ

ಉತ್ತರವು ಸಿಗಲಾರದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಇಹದಿ''

''ದೂರದರ್ಶನವ ನೀವು ನೋಡುವಿರಾದರೆ ಇಂದು 

ಖಂಡಿತಾ ನೋಡಿ ಸ್ಕೂಬೀ ಡೂ ಒಂದು 

ಚರ್ಚಿನಲೋ, ಶಾಲೆಯಲೋ ಬಂದಾಗ ದೆವ್ವಗಳು ಪ್ರತಿಬಾರಿ 

ಮುಖವಾಡ ಕಳಚುವರದರಲ್ಲಿ ತಪ್ಪದೇ ಪ್ರತಿಸಾರಿ

ಇತಿಹಾಸದುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಪರಿಹರಿಸಲ್ಪಟ್ಟ ರಹಸ್ಯಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ 

ಮಾಟಮಂತ್ರವೆಂದು ಸಾಬೀತಾಗಿದ್ದು ಒಂದೂ ಇಲ್ಲ''

''ಕಣ್ಣಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಡುತಿರುವ ಸತ್ಯವನು ಎದುರಿಸಲು ಭಯವೇನು? 

ಮಧ್ಯಾಹ್ನವೊಂದರಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಕಿಪೀಡಿಯ ಪುಟವೊಂದರಿಂದ ಜ್ಞಾನೋದಯವಾಗಬಹುದೆಂಬ ಕಲ್ಪನೆಯ ಭೀತಿಯೆನು?

ಅತೀಂದ್ರಿಯ ಶಕ್ತಿಯು ಭ್ರಮೆಯಾಗಿರಬಹುದೆಂಬ ಸತ್ಯವು ನಿನ್ನ 'ಬುದ್ದಿಜೀವಿ'ತನಕ್ಕೆ ಧಕ್ಕೆಯಾಗುವುದೆಂಬ ಅಳಲೇನು? 

ಗೂಗಲ್ ಮಾಡಿ ಹುಡುಕಬಹುದಾದ ವೈಜ್ಞಾನಿಕ ಸತ್ಯವನ್ನೂ ಹುಡುಕದೆ ಕುರುಡಾಗಿ ಮಂಜಿನಲೇ ನಿಂತಿರುವೆನೆಂಬ ಛಲವೇನು?''

''ಇದಿಷ್ಟೇ ಸಾಕಾಗದೇನು? 

ಬರಿಯ ಈ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ?''

''ಈ ಸುಂದರ, ಸಂಕೀರ್ಣ, ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯಕರ, ಅಗ್ರಾಹ್ಯ, ಕಲ್ಪನಾತೀತ, ನೈಸರ್ಗಿಕ ಪ್ರಪಂಚ?''

ಈ ಅಗಾಧ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ನಿನ್ನ ಗಮನಕ್ಕೆ ಬಾರದಿರುವುದಾದರೂ ಹೇಗೆ? 

ಕ್ಷುಲ್ಲಕ, ಬಾಲಿಶ, ಮಾನವ ನಿರ್ಮಿತ ಕಟ್ಟುಕಥೆಗಳಿಂದ ಈ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯವ ಕಡೆಗಣಿಸಬೇಕೇ ಹೀಗೆ? 

ಹಾ ಅದೇನೋ ಈ ಮೊದಲು ಷೇಕ್ಸ್ಪಿಯರ್ ಅಂದೆಯಲ್ಲಾ, ಈಗ ಕೇಳು 

ಎರವಲು ಕೊಡು ನನಗೀಗ ನಿನ್ನ ಕಿವಿ, 

ಆಗುವೆನು ನಾನೀಗ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕವಿ! 

ಪ್ರಪಂಚವ ಬಣ್ಣಿಸುವುದು 

ಬಂಗಾರಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂಗಾರದ ಲೇಪ ಹಾಕಿದಂತೆ  

ಲಿಲ್ಲಿ ಹೂವಿಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣವನ್ನು ಬಳಿದಂತೆ 

ಮಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೂವಿಗೆ ಸುಗಂಧ ದ್ರವ್ಯ ಲೇಪಿಸಿದಂತೆ 

ಶೇಕ್ಸಪೀಯರ್ ಹಾಗೆ ಹೀಗೇನೋ ಅಂದಂತೆ 

ನಿನಗೇನಾದರೂ ಕೃಷ್ಣನನೋ ವಿಷ್ಣುವನೋ, ವೈಭವೀಕರಿಸಬೆಂದಿದ್ದರೆ ವಸಾಹತುಶಾಹಿ ಮುಕ್ತ ಯುಗದ ಪ್ರತೀಕವೆಂದು
ನಿನ್ನಿಷ್ಟ, ನನ್ನದೇನೂ ಅಭ್ಯಂತರವಿಲ್ಲ ಅದರಳೊಂದೂ 

ಆದರೆ ನನ್ನಉತ್ಸಾಹದ ಚಿಲುಮೆಯ ಮೂಲವನು ಕೇಳು 

'' ನಾನೋರ್ವ ಅತಿ ಸಣ್ಣ, ಮುಖ್ಯವಲ್ಲದ, ಅರಿವಿಲ್ಲದ ಇಂಗಾಲದ ಉಂಡೆ

ಇರುವ ಜೀವ ಅತ್ಯಲ್ಪ, ಅನಿಶ್ಚಿತ, ಒಂದೇ

ಆದರೆ ಹೊಸ ವೈಜ್ಞಾನಿಕ ಅನ್ವೇಷಣೆಗಳಿಂದಾಗಿ ಈಗ ಜೀವಿಸಬಲ್ಲೆ ದುಪ್ಪಟ್ಟು 

ನನ್ನ ತಾತ ಮುತ್ತಾತರ ಜೀವನದ ದುಪ್ಪಟ್ಟು

ನನ್ನೀ ಒಲವಿನ ಒಡತಿಯೊಂದಿಗಿರಲು ಜೀವನ ದುಪ್ಪಟ್ಟು 

ನನ್ನೀ ನಲುಮೆಯ ಗೆಳೆರೊಡನಿರಲು ಜೀವನ ದುಪ್ಪಟ್ಟು''

ದುರಾದೃಷ್ಟವಶಾತ್ ನೋಯಿಸಿದ್ದರೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಮನವ

೧೦ ನಿಮಿಷ ಹಿಂದಿರುಗಿಸಲು ಬಯಸುವೆ ಸಮಯ 

ಮನ ಬದಲಾಗಬಹುದೇನೋ ಎಂಬ ಆಶಯ! 

----End----

Identity and the evolution of it - Borders and the absence of it! (A random blabber)

Identity is a strange thing! Isn't it? It broadens as your perspectives change and your identity is a totally different thing from someone else's perspective!

Long long ago, it was my first day of school in a village called Pattoor near our house. People asked me where I was from. ''Marlaje'', I told my house name to everyone who asked. Most people knew it because that was a tiny village with only a few houses and everyone knew each other. For those who did not know the house name I said, ''I'm from Patrame'', the village.

A few years later I went to a different school for my class 8. A bit far from my village - A town called Nellyady. Now ''Marlaje'' did not make any sense to others. Patrame did make sense to some people but a lot more had only vaguely heard about this village. So I had to add on descriptions - ''You know Kokkada? (another nearby town) Patrame is 8km from there''! That made people understand a little bit more but however many thought I was from Kokkada, because - where on the earth is Patrame?!

 

    (Speaking about earth reminded me of Carl Sagan - So squeezed this image here. Don't bother!)

A few more years passed and I joined the med school in a town near Bangalore called Tumkur. Suddenly I had friends from all over the country. They again asked me where I'm from - This time I couldn't start with Patrame or Kokkada - ''Near Dharmasthala'' I said. Most of my friends from Karnataka managed to get it as Dharmasthala is a famous temple town near my village. However, I had to go one step further and say ''near Mangalore'' to many North Indian friends as they had never heard of Dharmasthla. Despite that, I was just a guy from Karnataka, a Kannadiga for most of them! or maybe just a south Indian.

                (File pic of one famous Kannadiga explaining the exact GPS coordinates of his origins ;)


A few more years later I moved to Hyderabad, a city in a different state altogether. Not many knew Mangalore there. So I moved a bit further and explained Mangalore is near Bangalore in Karnataka (about 300km) and then they would get it! (Not to mention the Bangalore-Mangalore confusion).

Years passed. I moved to the United Kingdom. A country thousands of miles apart from India across the oceans. That I should say is a very different feeling altogether when you step out of your country for the very first time!
''Where are you from?'' many kept asking! ''Patr..Near Dharmasth...Mang...Ban...Kar...errrr'' my mind was drawing flowcharts and then the chak de India scene flashed in the mind and *Vidya Sharma* ''INDIA'' I said! That felt different. Very very different! I had never introduced myself like that before! Although few asked ''where exactly are you from, in India?'' for the vast majority I was just an Indian.
Although many had visited India, a lot more had just heard about this big colorful country and maybe had seen India on the media. ''Can you speak 'Indian'?'' many asked. ''Well, we have thousands of languages in India but 'Indian' is not a language'' I had to explain. I also made sure I gave some extra information about India and its diversity and encouraged them to visit India every time somebody asked this or anything about India! It felt so good! (Hey Indian tourism dept, hire me!;)

I recently was chatting with a taxi driver from Mozambique. He knew few bits about India and was asking me more about India and I was asking him about Mozambique as I had no clue how the country is. The pleasant articulate man had pearls of wisdom ''when you are outside your country, the country becomes your identity amongst all other things. People who had never been or does not know much about the country form opinions about the country based on your work and conversations with you. You are the true ambassador for your country!''. ''How true!'' I thought to myself. I don't really know what impression he had about India after the conversation but I had a very good impression about Mozambique!

(Some flight of ideas - Taxi reminded me of this awesome movie called Greenbook. Make sure you watch it. Ok back to the topic now!)

When you are outside your nation, for many, YOU represent the country. YOU are the nation! You are India for many! You are not a village, you are not a district, you are not a state, you are not north Indian or south Indian, or whatever in between! You are just an Indian and people often see INDIA through you! But for you, you are all that and much more when somebody calls you an Indian. Including those things  that are Indian that you don't associate yourself with when in India because you are from a different region, state, culture or whatever. Again, THAT, is a very strange feeling!

A few days ago I was watching this series on Netflix called 'one strange rock' which shared perspectives of astronauts who saw the earth from a distance. An earth without any borders! An earth that was completely unaware of the fact that it has so many imaginary boundaries called nations within it! I was just wondering how would the astronauts feel if some aliens turned up and asked them ''Hey, where are you from?!''

 Will end this blabber with few quotes!

                                                                               1

2  

3

4

5

अयं बन्धुरयंनेति गणना लघुचेतसाम्

उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम् ॥

‘ayam nijah paroveti ganana laghuchetasam

udaracharitanam tu vasudhaiva kutumbhakam’ | A Sanskrit verse from Hitopadesha

-translates to-

'This is my own and that a stranger’ – is the calculation of the narrow-minded
For the magnanimous-hearts however, the entire earth is but a family’

6

‘யாதும் ஊரே; யாவரும் கேளிர்;

“Yathum Oore Yavarum Kelir”
‘Every place is my home town; Everyone my kith and kin'

- A tamil poetry written about 2500 years ago by Kanian Poongundranar

-------
Epilogue:

''Hey alien!, We are from earth''
''What earth?''
''You know the solar system with that sun and other fancy planets surrounding?''
''Eh..Where?''
''You know Milkyway?''
''Hmmm..i think I have heard about it, where exactly is it did you say?''
''Oops!''
-------

Lame!

                           😐😐😐😉


I don't.

I don't write.

I don't write enough. 

I don't write enough due to the fear.

I don't write enough due to the fear of words.

I don't write enough due to the fear of words that sound lame.

I don't write enough due to the fear that lame words would be misunderstood as poetry.

I don't write enough because i don't want poetry to be misunderstood.

I don't write enough because i don't want poetry to be lame.

I don't write enough because i fear lame.

I don't know why i wrote this! Shame!

I don't know why.

I don't know.

I don't.

Angreji (UK) lingo for the desi medic! – An unofficial guide.

Globalization is on the rise. With increasing connectivity and collaboration between India and the UK, more and more Indian medics are training in the UK and more are expected to join.

This is a guide to the desi trained medic who comes to the UK for the very first time for further training and gets lost and overwhelmed in a completely new environment, culture, language and a whole set of words and phrases completely unheard of!

This blog post is an aftermath of a series of facepalm situations, blank stares, hain?!-moments, sighs, and multiple soul-shaking LOLs!

So, let’s begin the jargon!

1      1.     Pile

If you are just out of your surgery rotations, that’s not really a pleasant word to begin with. But given the fact that understanding all the new lingo is a pain up your a**, this is the right word to begin with.

That was my first day in one of the busiest A&Es in the UK. As I gazed around and tried understanding what the hell is happening around me, someone suddenly struck me with a question “Is it a single pile for now?”. I stood there as if I’m imitating one of those rocks at the Stonehenge! Motionless, speechless and lifeless! 

A 'pile’ refers to a pile/stack of patient notes – Usually the ones waiting to be seen by a clinician.

Usually there are different piles for different areas of the department (Majors, minors, triage) and you pick up the notes from these piles and start seeing your patient. The piles are sometimes combined if there is a smaller number of patients in the department.  I was just wondering if the ED is overcrowded, do they call it a pile up then?!

1    2.   BIBA 

As I stood there on the corridor like a lost man in Rajiv Chowk metro station, one of the consultants walked up to me and said, “start seeing patients and you will get used to it” and handed me some patient notes from the pile.

I started reading the notes. “Patient BIBA, c/o Chest pain 2/52” it said!

“Arrey  yaar! Ye BIBA kya hai? and what is this division exercise after chest pain? Is it a code or something? Is that a chest pain classification which I don’t know?” I thought.

Someone then explained that BIBA is the abbreviation for ‘Brought In By Ambulance’! Sometimes it is also written as brought in by LAS (London Ambulance Service) and

the duration of symptoms is denoted as 2/7 (2 days – denominator is the number of days in a week), 2/52 (2 weeks – denominator is the number of days in a year), 2/12 (2 months).

1    3.  Bleep!

Finally, I saw this patient with a complex cardiac history and I felt that he needs to be admitted under the cardiology team. I discussed with the consultant and he said, “Bleep the cardiology Registrar”. I nodded like I completely understood what he said and smiled! <>

“Matlab? Cardiology ko call karun? Missed call doon? Or computer alli enaadru press maadbeka?” I thought. 

If you are a 90s kid, you would probably know about a piece of technology called a pager which did a peek-a-boo. We still use that in NHS. Bleeping someone basically involves paging someone from a telephone nearby so that they can call you back on that number. Most of the registrars carry this futuristic gadget around their waist which goes into panic mode every now and then. At times you feel a false sense of self-importance if you are carrying one! Also, when it goes off when speaking to a patient you apologize and have a quick look at it so that patient knows you are a very busy bade doc saab!!

1    4.  Tannoy!

I somehow managed to bleep the cardiology registrar. He agreed to see the patient and requested if we could do a repeat Troponin. While I went to the cubicle to take some more blood sample the patient was missing. One of the nurses said, “he must have gone out for a smoke!”. “Well! That definitely is a cardioprotective strategy” I thought! I waited for almost an hour and there was no trace of patient anywhere around! I went straight to the charge nurse and said, “Now what?”.

“Did you Tannoy?” she asked while staring at the large computer screen and trying to manage a busy department full of patients.

The question was followed by an absolute silence for few seconds. This desi doc had heard that word for the first time in his life! “Emmmm…. Do what?” I asked with a quivery voice. “Tannoy him...Tannoy him” she said again!

“Ye Tanu Weds Manu kahaan se aagaya yahan pe” was all that I had in my mind!

Announcing something on a loudspeaker which is heard by the entire population of the department is called a tannoy!

Given the fact that it is annoying to hear loud announcements over your head, especially while you are speaking to the patients and during handovers, the name t(annoy) is very apt and well thought of!

Probably the usage of the word comes from the British loudspeaker manufacturing company with the same name and is used as a verb now. It’s more like the Xerox being synonymous with photocopying in India!

1    5.   Clerking!

My patient reappeared amidst the smokes (quite literally) and I explained to him the plan that he’s going to be admitted for further investigations and a cardiologist would see him. I also updated the charge nurse who helped me tannoy without getting annoyed by my never-ending questions in a busy department that ‘the patient is coming in’ (the phrase commonly used for admission). She was happy with the plan and told me that she’d book a bed for my patient. Then came the next question, “Did you finish clerking?”

“Clerks toh SBI mein hote hain! and I toh finished 10^th, then 2 years PUC then medical college. Clerk toh raha nahi kabhi?! Ab ye kya hai?” I thought.

Writing patient notes is referred to as ‘clerking’. Everyone clerks after seeing the patient. There will be A&E clerking, medical clerking, surgical clerking and so on!

Luckily the nurse was kind enough to explain this to me again after my tannoy goof up!

1    6.   Vetting

Since patient number 1 was sorted I picked up patient number 2. This was a 96-year-old grandpa with h/o fall and head injury who needed a CT scan of his head.

I requested the CT scan on the computer after a bit of struggling and a bit of help from kind colleagues. I called up the radiographer to see if I can shift the patient for the scan. Radiographer on the other side of the phone took details and said “It’s not vetted yet! Have you called the radiology reg to vet the scan?”

“*looong pause+blank expression on face* No. Will call them now” I said before disconnecting the call.

Until then I only knew of ‘wet’ and a veterinary wala vet. A quick google search revealed there is a verb ‘vet’ which means ‘to make a careful and critical examination of (something)’.

Someone explained that for most of the CT request I need to call up the radiology registrar and discuss with him so that he ‘vets’ the scan and then only the scan will be done.

Suddenly the radiology registrar’s image turned out to be something like this in my mind! 

Mallus in the house, you can call this entire process ‘Vettam’!

(OK. I will stop before someone slaps me for this :-P) 

1    7.     Breach!

You will hear this very often. Like every 10 seconds probably. The greater number of times you hear something like “your patient is breaching in 8 minutes what’s your plan?” the more trouble you are in!

Every patient who comes to the ED must be assessed and disposed (either admission, discharge or appropriate referral) within a time frame of 4 hours as per national standards. Anyone staying beyond 4 hours without an appropriate plan in the emergency department is considered a breach. Trusts lose money as they get penalized if they are unable to reach this target so there is pressure from top which trickles down to you and you will be constantly hounded by people if you are not quick enough or the circumstances lead you to the edge of 4 hours!

BTW this has nothing to do with the breach presentation you learnt in your OBG postings! 

1     8.     Water!

“Really?! You think I don’t even know the meaning of water?” You might ask. Well! Even I thought I knew the meaning until I came across this completely new meaning.

Not a medical lingo but urine is often referred to as water by many patients!!!

So, if someone sees blood in urine and gets frightened – ‘Pani da rang vekh ke akhiyaan cho anju rul de’!!! (#OkBye)

 9. Stone!

“Have you lost any weight recently?” I asked the old patient who was concerned about his recent lethargy.

“I have lost about 3 stones in the last 2 months” he said. “Oh! You had kidney stones as well?” I asked him again quickly. Both of us stared at each other for 10 seconds before I could realize he was still talking about his weight!

1 stone = 6.35029 kilograms and is commonly used by patients to describe weight. Count your stones! 

(Wait! Where did this image pop up from?!)

 10.     Blue light / Blue call

As I admitted the old man under medics I once again heard a loud tannoy which said “Adult blue light to ED resus. ETA 6 minutes” and multiples bleeps went off as if there would be a spacecraft launch in few minutes or something! “Ye ho kya raha hai, bhai?!” I thought to myself. It also felt for a moment as if I’m watching some Hollywood thriller with all the action around!

Any priority 1 patient coming to the resus area of the ED is referred as being ‘blue lighted’ and the ambulance staff will notify the ED prior to arrival with an ETA (Estimated Time of Arrival) so that the staff can be ready to do the needful.

But if that turns out to be some drunk guy with low GCS prior to arrival but got up just on arrival to ED and is now GCS 15/15, you can sing this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEnLt3pasxE (I know! But I can’t help it! :-P) 

Ok! I’ll Stop (for now).

By the way, accents are a different story altogether which will make you go “Kaunsi bhaasa bol raha hai ye banda?”

While in London beware of the ‘Cockney accent’. Learn the basics here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WvIwkL8oLc

Well, the Scottish accent? Don’t even get me started!

Maybe it’s worth looking at these videos:

The Scottish lift: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAz_UvnUeuU

When the accent Is way too hard to understand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALHmoKYinic

These are the top 10 lingos and some essential tips to make life a wee bit easier! There are many more you will come across, but this is the essential starter pack!

Hope you have a pleasant time in the UK! Jai Hind! 😊

PS: If you don’t understand something, ASK! People are generally very friendly and helpful!

Acknowledgment: Thanks to all the amazing staff at Northwick Park Hospital (London North West University Healthcare NHS Trust) who were supportive throughout and never made me feel unsupported during the process of a massive change and tolerated all the blank stares!

Disclaimer: Views expressed here are the opinion of author only (of course!) and not that of the employer/NHS or any other organization. 

Author:

Apoorva Chandra

MBBS, MRCEM (UK)

Higher Specialty Trainee (ST4) in Emergency Medicine

Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh

Scotland

United Kingdom

Twitter: @apoorvamagic 

Team ER

Challenge the clock and count upto four
I've no clue what's coming in through the door!
Adrenaline is in our veins and we love it to the core,
"Oh! You've got coffee ? Get me some more!"

That old man who's gonna crash?
Or this angry young man who has got no cash.
A breathless kid or a broken arm
Anyone, anything, anytime is our norm.

When you fail to answer your airway's quest,
when you have got problems with your chest,
On our laryngoscopes thee tongue rest,
and to save you we try our best.

We have planned for every 'unplanned drill'
we are manned even when the rest comes to a still.
Even-though the task seems uphill,
Relax! we are here to help you; chill!

When your world hangs between heaven and hell,
when you can no more sniff the uncertainty's smell,
when you have none on whom you can dwell,
sit beside, we have got stories to tell!

Whoever you are, we are here to care
"Oh! You've got coffee? Can you please share?!"

Saving *more* lives is our everyday  theme
We do it best when we are a team!

मूँग दाल !

1.

ಇಂದು, ನಿನ್ನೆಯ ಒಡನಾಟಾದಲಿ ಕಳೆಯುತಿದ್ದೆ.
ನಿನ್ನೆಗೇ ಬೇಸರವೆನಿಸಿ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗೆಂದಿತು.
ಇಂದೀಗ ನಿನ್ನೆಯಿಲ್ಲ.

ನಿನ್ನೆಯ ನೆನಪುಗಳ ಖಜಾನೆಯೊಂದರಲಿ ಶಬ್ದವೊಂದು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿತ್ತು.
ಇಂದು ಪ್ರಖರ ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳು.

**************************************

2.

ಶಿಥಿಲ ಅಡಿಪಾಯದ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿಂತಿರುವ ಕೋಟೆ. 

ಮೇಲಿಂದ ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಕಲ್ಲುಗಳು ಕೆಳಬಿದ್ದು ಒಬ್ಬೊಬ್ಬರನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕೊಲ್ಲುತ್ತಿವೆ. 

ಉಳಿದವರ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳಲಿ ಧೂಳು ತುಂಬಿದೆ.

ಧರ್ಮಮಾರ್ಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಂಚರಿಸಬೇಕೆಂದರೆ 'ಧರ್ಮದ' ಅವಶ್ಯಕತೆಯೇನೂ ಇಲ್ಲವೆಂಬ ಸತ್ಯವಾಕ್ಯವ ನುಡಿದರೆ ಸ್ವಯಂಘೋಷಿತ ಧರ್ಮರಕ್ಷಕರಾರೂ ಮೆಚ್ಚರು ಮಂಕುತಿಮ್ಮ- ದೇವರಿಲ್ಲದಹಳ್ಳಿVG

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3.

ಹೇಗೋ ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಿರ್ಜೀವವವಾಗಿದ್ದ ಮೆದುಳಿನ ಭಾಗವೊಂದು ಅಗ್ನಿಪರ್ವತದಂತೆ ಭೋರ್ಗರೆಯುತ್ತಾ ಸಿಡಿದೆದ್ದು ಶಬ್ದಗಳ ಲಾವಾಪ್ರವಾಹವನು ಹರಿಸಿದಂತೆ!

ಗೋಜಲು ಗೋಜಲಾಗಿ ಬಿದ್ದಿದ್ದ ಹಳೆಯ ಬಟ್ಟೆಗಳ ಶಿಖರದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ ಕೆಂಪು ಬಸ್ಸಿನ ಟಿಕೇಟಿನಲ್ಲಿರುವ 2 ರಂಧ್ರಗಳನ್ನು ಕವಿತೆಯೆನ್ನಬಹುದೇ?

ಶಬ್ದಗಳಿಗೇನೋ ಸಮಯದ ಅಭಾವವಂತೆ.

ಆದರೂ ಇದೇಕೋ ತೋರುತಿದೆ ಬರೀ ನೆಪದಂತೆ.

ಕವಿತೆಯಾದರೆ ಬುದ್ದಿಜೀವಿಗಳು (ಅಪ) ಅರ್ಥ ಕಲ್ಪಿಸುತ್ತಾರೆಂಬ ಭಯವಂತೆ!

ಕನ್ನಡದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದೆರಡು ಸಾಲು ಗೀಚಿದೆ.

'ಓ, ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ, ಚೆನ್ನಾಗೇ ಇದೆ' ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡೆ.

ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷಿಗೆ ತರ್ಜುಮೆಯೂ ಮಾಡಿದೆ.

ರಾಹುಲ್ ಗಾಂಧಿ ಮಾತನಾಡಿದಂತಾಯಿತು!

ಆಗೀಗ ಹೀಗೆ ಶಬ್ದಗಳು ಕುಣಿಡಾಡಿದಾಗ ಕವಿತೆಯಾಗಬಹುದೇನೋ ಎಂಬ ಹುಚ್ಚು ಬಯಕೆ!

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rED Rhymes

                                   

                                  1

This restless dude (in triage) who's about to fly,
Got a new year gift, for a lie.
Can you hear him cry?                                                        
As if he's gonna die!
Ah! His girlfriend(?s) slapped him; sigh!
And yes! there's a rED eye.

                                   2

There's another on the bed.
Silent, but not yet dead.
To almost death he bled.
"Reserve blood and start CPR" we said.
As the family watched in dread,
with their eyes watery and rED,
Hope was the only thing common in our head!

                                 3

Here comes another guy; with a stye.
Wearing a pink, flowery tie.
As if he has just fallen from the sky!
We all gave him a try.
His eye too was rED and ours dry!
OMG! 'Bheja fry'!

                              4

That old lady on bed no. 2,
Few good words are all we could do.
She has got a cancer and she knows it too.
Though she might die in a day or two,
She's happy looking at her grand-kid coo.
Her eyes rED, not one, two!

                             5

Hmm! This lady on bed 9
Just wanted to hear that she's 'still' alive and fine!
While she was having her royal dine,
with a large cup of old brewed wine
(it seems) She heard a 'call' from the God, divine!
Her eyes weren't red; but was it really wine?

(Dedicated to the Department of Emergency Medicine)

Anarchy!

Yes, they were indeed flowers,
But without any colors.

They were afraid of the raging sun 
And those rays which looked like a gun.

They feared his monopoly and powers.
Afterall they were just flowers          .

They turned their faces away from him.
Just waiting to escape from the burning brim.

Some were in confusion still.
They knew that they can’t just kill.

Very few decided to stand up and block him with all their might.
They tried to hold the sun with their arms, tight.

Some even poked him in the centre – bright.
Behind them they wanted to ‘create’ a night!
but before the sun was out of sight.

I’ve no idea who’s right.
And I don’t have a camera which works in the night…!!

(Shot on 20/02/2012 @ SSMC Campus, Tumkur)

Facepalm!

I'm writing this because I've got a paper and a pen.
Although the mind said "Dude!, this is not how it's done!"

I said, "you are not the one;
Stop drawing margins with the gun".

Abstract ideas hinting something are on the run.
Or are they just bland thoughts having mindless fun?

There's this part of the brain which always thinks about the stars and the sun.
and also another part, undiscovered; which has allowed none.

From nowhere i hear a voice "You are rhyming for the sake of a rhyme!"
"Do you know that this is a serious crime?"

I'm back to my senses.
I seem to have committed a series of offences.

*Hears the siren of a police vehicle*

"Oh! Shit!"
"I quit!" ;-)

-ACP

ಕನ್ನಡಿ

ಅದ್ಯಾವುದೋ ಅಸ್ಪಷ್ಟ ಭಾವವೊ೦ದರಲಿ, ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟ ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೊ೦ದನ್ನು ಒಡೆದಿದ್ದೆ.

ಇದ್ದರೂ ಇಲ್ಲದ೦ತಾಗಿ ಆ ಕಾಳ ರಾತ್ರಿಯಲಿ, ಕಣ್ಣು ಮಿಟುಕಿಸಿಕೊ೦ಡೇ ಮಲಗಿದ್ದೆ.

ಸುತ್ತಿಗೆಯೇಟುಗಳೇ ಹೀಗೆ, ತು೦ಬಾ ವಿಚಿತ್ರ.

ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಾರದೇ ಇರಬಹುದು ನಿಖರ ಚಿತ್ರ.

ಆದರೂ...

ಚೂರುಗಳನಾಯ್ದು ಸರಿಹೊ೦ದಿಸಿದೆ.

ಒಡೆದ ತುಣುಕುಗಳನು fevistickನಿ೦ದ ಬ೦ಧಿಸಿದೆ.

ಸರಿಪಡಿಸಿದ ಕನ್ನಡಿಯನ್ನು "ಮಾಡರ್ನ್ ಆರ್ಟ್" ಎ೦ದು ಕರೆದು ಯಥಾಸ್ಥಳದಲ್ಲಿ ತೂಗುಹಾಕಿದೆ.

ಈಗ ಹೇಳದಿರುವುದು ಬಾಕಿ ಏನೂ ಇಲ್ಲ; ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಕನ್ನಡಿಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿದೆ.

ಒ೦ದಾಗಿದ್ದ ಮುಖ ಈಗ ಹತ್ತಾದೀತು.

(ಆದರೂ) ಪ್ರತಿ ತುಣುಕಿನಲ್ಲೂ ನನ್ನ ಮುಖ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕ೦ಡೀತು.

ಮೊದಲಿನ೦ತಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೂ ಈಗ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಾನಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೂ ಇದೆ.

ಕನ್ನಡಿಯೇ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ನನ್ನನ್ನು ನಾನೇ ನೊಡಿಕೊ೦ಡ ಭಾವನೆ ಜೊತೆಗಿದೆ.

-ACP

--Inspired by a FB post by 'JOGI'.